The Great Bead Fiasco

Most people already know all about the Great Bead Fiasco of 2011, but I'm going to document it here anyway so we can look back on it someday and (hopefully) laugh!

Last Sunday I was at the salon getting my hair done when Fred texted me:  "Your daughter has a bead stuck in her ear.  We're going to Nextcare clinic across the street.  If they can't help, we're going to Exempla."

My first thought was "Allison."   Of course it was Allison.  Imagine my surprise when I found out that it was Elisabeth who was With Bead.  Elisabeth?  Elisabeth?!

The urgent care clinic couldn't help, so we headed to the ER at Exempla Hospital.  We were there most of the afternoon.  They tried forceps, suction, glue, a balloon thing, a scoop thing...nothing worked.  She wasn't in any pain...unless they were poking around in her ear.  Anytime they tried to retrieve the bead, she'd scream and squirm.

We were referred to The Children's Hospital in Denver, so that was our next stop.  The ER doctors there couldn't help, either, and she just did more screaming and squirming there.  We were referred to an ENT the next day.

On Monday, we were back at Children's to see an ENT.  They tried once more to get the bead out, but they didn't succeed.  The next step and last resort was surgical removal with general anesthesia.  Surgery was scheduled for 11am on Thursday -- today.  Surgery?!  For a little BEAD?? 

On Wednesday, we got a call that surgery was postponed until noon.  No problem.  What's an hour delay?

On Thursday, we arrived at the hospital at 10am -- 2 hours before surgery,  just like we were supposed to.  Within an hour, we were all checked in and met with the nurse, nurse practitioner, social worker, and anesthesiologist.  Elisabeth was in her gown, in good spirits, and ready to go:

By 11am, I was in my scrubs, ready for surgery.

Sometime after noon, we were told there was a delay and it would probably be "another hour or so."  Sometime around 1:30pm, Elisabeth was bored out of her mind:

She was also very hungry since she hadn't eaten since the night before.  She was also getting very antsy.  The nurse brought her a stuffed animal, a "Where's Waldo" book, and some markers and crayons so she would have something to do.  Those things kept her entertained for about 30 minutes.  There's only so much you can do when you're trapped in a small hospital pre-op "cell" a few HOURS after your surgery was supposed to start...so she started wheeling around the room on the doctor's chair. 

Around 2pm, the surgeon came in to explain what would happen.  He said we'd get started "in about 15 minutes."  I sarcastically told Fred that meant it would be another hour, since the hospital staff seemed to have a warped sense of time.

Around 2:30pm, Elisabeth was so crabby that she threatened to go find the surgeon herself so we could get things started.  We didn't hear from anyone again until 3pm when it was FINALLY time to go.  Fred and I got to be in the OR with Elisabeth when they put the mask on her and she fell asleep.  

Literally 6 minutes after the surgery started, the surgeon came out to the waiting room and presented me with a plastic container that had the bead inside.  (Um, thanks?)  About 15 minutes later, we were called back to the recovery room, where Elisabeth was already awake.  She said she had a bad headache, and her stomach felt a little queasy (both normal side-effects from anesthesia), but overall she was fine.  We spent about 10 minutes in recovery with her before she was moved to a recovery room.   At 4pm, the nurse said she thought we'd be out of there "in about 20 more minutes."  Around 4:30pm I asked if we could leave, as we had to get back to Westminster and pick Allison up!  They printed up the instructions, gave us some medicine, and we were out of there.  Elisabeth got to ride out in a wheelchair!

So, in summary:  the bead is out.  I told the girls to NEVER stick a bead in their nose, ears, or mouth.  Allison chimed in, "Or in your butt crack!"  Excellent advice!!